Compassion and Loving Kindness Meditation
The Compassion and Loving-Kindness Meditation is useful when you are feeling isolated, angry, vulnerable, anxious, fearful, or low self-esteem. It helps us to remember that we are all connected in our desire to be happy and free from suffering. Contemporary research has shown that this mediation can increase resilience and help you manage your interpersonal struggles and reduce feelings of loneliness, separation, self-blame, self-pity, and vulnerability.
Preparation: Find a place where you can sit comfortably, either on a chair or cushion, and where you will be undisturbed. If you wish, close your eyes or softly gaze at a point on the floor in front of you.
Instruction: During this practice you will imagine offering well-wishes to yourself and others, recognizing that all beings are united in the desire to be happy, safe, and free from suffering. Consider the possibility of feeling in your body what it is like to offer kindness without conditions. Your breath is the anchor to the present moment, so if you find you get distracted or disrupted by thoughts or emotions, remember all you need to do is come back to your breath and continue to practice.
Let your next breath be full and expansive – allow your exhale to fall out of your mouth with a sigh. Repeat this five times. Now let your breath be natural, and notice the place in your body where your breath is the most prominent. Bring your attention to that point – focus on each inhale, each exhale, and the space between.
Benefactor: In your mind’s eye, imagine being in the presence of someone you respect and love unconditionally, such as a teacher, mentor, spiritual leader, or your beloved pet. Notice what it feels like in your body to be in the presence of such warmth. Imagine sending these well-wishes:
May you be happy, as I wish to be happy.
May you know peace, as I wish to know peace.
May you be free from suffering, as I wish to be free from suffering.
Self: Now replace that person’s image with the image of yourself. Meet your own eyes, and smile. Cultivate the same sense of warmth for yourself as you did for that last person, recognizing that just like him or her, you deserve to be loved unconditionally. Send these well-wishes to yourself:
May I be happy.
May I know peace.
May I be free from suffering.
Beloved friend: Bring to mind the image of someone you consider to be a good friend, or maybe a beloved family member, and recall how you feel in his or her presence. This person deserves to live a happy and peaceful life, and you wish nothing but the best for this special being. Imagine looking him or her in the eyes and sending out these well-wishes:
May you be happy, as I wish to be happy.
May you know peace, as I wish to know peace.
May you be free from suffering, as I wish to be free from suffering.
Neutral person: This is a person you have encountered in the past who you neither like nor dislike. A neutral person you see occasionally, but may not know her or his name. A clerk in a store, someone you pass on the street, for instance. Send these well-wishes:
May you be happy, as I wish to be happy.
May you know peace, as I wish to know peace.
May you be free from suffering, as I wish to be free from suffering.
Difficult person: Scan through the people in your life for someone you find difficult, but who is not your worst enemy. Maybe this person is irritating, or rubs you the wrong way. Select someone to whom you can at least pretend to send well-wishes. Consider the possibility that this person has good traits as well as bad, and that just like you she or he wants to be happy and free from suffering. Imagine saying to this person these words:
May you be happy, as I wish to be happy.
May you know peace, as I wish to know peace.
May you be free from suffering, as I wish to be free from suffering.
All sentient beings: All beings want to be happy, to know peace, and to be free from suffering. In that regard, no one being is that different from another – we all are united in one common goal. As you feel your breath in your body, imagine that you can send well-wishes out to all living creatures everywhere:
May we all be happy.
May we all know peace.
May we all be free from suffering.
Please now sit in silence for several minutes before opening your eyes. While journaling isn’t necessary, it can be very supportive
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