Signature workshop

Continuing Bonds: Carrying Love Forward Without "Moving On"

If you're not ready to let go of someone you loved, you don't have to be. This is a gentler framework for people who aren't ready to "move on" — and, honestly, don't need to be. Rooted in Continuing Bonds theory and delivered in plain language, this workshop offers a different way to think about carrying love forward: not as unfinished business, but as an ongoing relationship that can bring comfort rather than being something to overcome.

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Who this is for

Built for the teams already doing this work.

  • Bereavement support groups and community grief talks
  • Anniversary events and memorial gatherings
  • Senior-living and hospice family-services teams supporting long-term residents' families
  • Faith communities and aftercare teams walking with families over time

Learning objectives

What your team will walk away able to do.

  • Explain Continuing Bonds theory in plain language, without jargon
  • Identify at least three ways people commonly carry a continued connection to someone who died (memory, ritual, conversation, sensed presence, values)
  • Distinguish between continuing bonds that bring comfort and patterns that may need more support
  • Practice at least one continuing-bonds practice they can use in their own life or recommend to someone they support
  • Push back, gently and confidently, on "moving on" language when they hear it
  • Leave with language to describe their own continued connection to someone they've lost, if they choose to

Evidence base

Grounded in current grief research.

Continuing Bonds theory was introduced by Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman as a direct challenge to older grief models that framed healthy mourning as detachment from the person who died. The International Work Group on Death, Dying and Bereavement (IWG), a long-standing professional body in the field, continues to support scholars and practitioners advancing this and related frameworks (iwgddb.com). A 2024 systematic review synthesizing 79 studies on continuing bonds found that engaging with memories, rituals, a sense of ongoing connection, and even occasional felt-presence experiences generally provide comfort and support long-term adjustment to loss — though the review also notes that the type of bond and how actively versus passively someone holds it can shape whether it helps or complicates grief (Hewson et al., Death Studies, 2024).

This workshop also draws on research into the attachment dimension of continuing bonds. A 2025 study found that prolonged grief symptoms and "lingering attachment" to the deceased are linked to what researchers call approach behavior — actively seeking connection to a lost loved one — which helps explain why continuing bonds can feel so central to grieving, especially for close relationships (Eisma et al., Journal of Traumatic Stress, 2025). Because continuing bonds can occasionally intertwine with more complicated grief patterns, this workshop draws a clear, gentle line using Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) criteria, added to the DSM-5-TR in 2022: most continued connection is a healthy and comforting part of grieving, while PGD describes a distinct, less common pattern of grief symptoms so intense and persistent that they significantly disrupt daily functioning (APA, "Prolonged Grief Disorder"; Treml et al., 2024). This workshop is framed entirely as education and coaching — helping people understand and name their own continuing bonds — not as a diagnostic or clinical process.

Session outline

What a 60-minute session looks like.

Every talk is tailored to the room, but here's the shape I'd usually propose. The half-day version below expands each block with worksheets and role-play.

  1. 0:00–0:08

    Welcome and framing

    Molly opens with a short, warm story illustrating what a continuing bond looks like in real life (a ritual, a conversation with a photo, a sensed presence). Names the session's core idea: carrying love forward is not a failure to move on.

  2. 0:08–0:20

    What Continuing Bonds theory actually says

    Teaching segment introducing Klass, Silverman, and Nickman's framework in plain language: healthy grieving often includes an ongoing relationship with the person who died, not detachment from them.

  3. 0:20–0:32

    The many shapes of a continuing bond

    Presents the range of ways people carry a connection forward: keeping objects, talking to the person, marking anniversaries, carrying on their values or causes, sensing their presence, dreaming of them. Normalizes this range without ranking any as "better."

  4. 0:32–0:44

    Small group or paired sharing

    Attendees who are comfortable share one way they carry someone forward. Facilitator gently affirms without analyzing or "fixing." Others are welcome to simply listen.

  5. 0:44–0:54

    Responding to "moving on" language

    Teaching on why "moving on," "letting go," and "closure" language can feel dismissive, and how to respond gently — to others and to their own inner voice — when that language comes up.

  6. 0:54–0:58

    When a bond feels heavier than comforting

    Brief, gentle note distinguishing ordinary continuing bonds from patterns that feel stuck, isolating, or disabling for a long stretch of time, with reassurance that support exists if that's the case.

  7. 0:58–1:00

    Close

    Invite a few volunteers to share a word or phrase they're leaving with. Hand out the take-home resource. Thank the room.

Half-day training

The 3-hour expanded version.

  1. Hour 1 — Understanding Continuing Bonds

    • 0:00–0:15 Extended welcome and framing with a longer story
    • 0:15–0:40 Deep dive into the history of Continuing Bonds theory, including how it challenged earlier "detachment" models of grief, and what the 2024 systematic review found about how bonds help and where nuance matters
    • 0:40–0:55 Worksheet: attendees map out the different continuing bonds they already have (or might want) across the categories introduced (memory, ritual, conversation, values, sensed presence)
    • 0:55–1:00 Optional voluntary share-out

  2. Hour 2 — Practicing and normalizing

    • 1:00–1:20 Small-group discussion: cultural and personal variation in how continuing bonds show up — faith traditions, family customs, personal preference
    • 1:20–1:45 Role-play or paired practice: responding to someone who says "isn't it time to move on?" — both as the person receiving it and, separately, catching oneself before saying something similar to someone else
    • 1:45–2:00 Group discussion on what felt hard or freeing about this practice

  3. Hour 3 — Building a personal continuing-bonds practice

    • 2:00–2:20 Guided exercise: attendees design one small, sustainable continuing-bonds ritual for themselves (a yearly tradition, a phrase they say, an object they keep visible)
    • 2:20–2:45 Small-group sharing of these rituals, if comfortable
    • 2:45–2:55 Gentle discussion on when a continuing bond might benefit from additional support, and where to find it
    • 2:55–3:00 Closing circle and take-home resource distribution

Signature phrases

Language your team can borrow directly.

  • "You don't have to let go to heal."
  • "Carrying love forward isn't unfinished business — it's connection."
  • "Continuing Bonds: an ongoing relationship, not a detachment process."
  • "There's no rule that says love has an expiration date."
  • "Moving on was never the goal. Moving forward, with them, is."
  • "Your bond can change shape without disappearing."

On the handout

What your team takes home.

  • Plain-language explanation of Continuing Bonds theory (Klass, Silverman, Nickman)
  • "Shapes of a continuing bond" checklist: memory, ritual, conversation, values, sensed presence, and more
  • A short list of gentle responses to "moving on" language, for use with others and with oneself
  • A simple ritual-design worksheet
  • A gentle note on when a continuing bond may call for additional support, with resources

Follow-up resources

To go deeper.

Optional pre-work: Ask attendees to think of one object, phrase, tradition, or memory connected to someone they've lost, and to bring it to mind (or bring the object itself, if attending in person) before the session.

FAQ

A few things owners and administrators usually ask.

"Isn't holding on to someone unhealthy?"

Not according to current research — most continuing bonds bring comfort and support healthy long-term adjustment. The old idea that grieving means detaching from the person who died has largely given way to a more accurate understanding: most of us carry people forward, and that's normal.

"What if my continuing bond makes me sad instead of comforted?"

That can happen, and it's still worth talking about gently — sadness and comfort often coexist. This workshop offers a chance to notice which parts of your bond feel comforting and which feel heavier, without judgment either way.

"Isn't this the same as denial?"

No — denial would mean acting as though the person is still physically present or that the loss didn't happen. Continuing bonds means acknowledging the loss fully while still carrying an emotional connection forward. Those are different things.

"When should I be worried about how someone is grieving?"

If a continuing bond seems to come with significant, ongoing disruption to daily functioning for a long stretch of time, that may be worth a conversation with a grief counselor. This workshop can help you recognize the difference, but it isn't a diagnostic tool.

BRING THIS TO YOUR TEAM

Let's find a time to talk.

Every session is tailored to your audience, timeframe, and setting. If you're thinking about a keynote, a workshop, or a half-day training for your team — let's talk. Fees vary by format and audience; I'll follow up within a business day.

Request this talk