THE HEALING PATH
Writing for the parts of grief nobody warns you about.
Most of what I write here started as something a client said to me, or something I lay awake with myself. Why do I wake up at 2 a.m.? Why did my friends stop calling? Is it normal to feel relief? Why does it hurt in my chest?
These posts aren't advice from a distance. They're the things I'd say if you were sitting across from me with a cup of tea. Read whatever is closest to what you're carrying tonight. You don't have to read them in order, and you don't have to read
New posts most weeks. No paywall, no sign-up needed to read.
If you can’t sleep * Why grief wakes you at 2 or 3 in the morning, and what helps.
If it hurts in your body * Grief lives in the chest, the shoulders, the stomach. How to let it move.
If you feel something you “shouldn’t”. * Relief, anger, numbness. All of it belongs.
If your friends have gone quiet * Why people disappear after a loss, what it isn’t, and what to do.
If they’re still here and you’re already grieving * Anticipatory grief, and why it’s real.
How long will my grief last? Does this feeling ever get better?
The 3-3-3 Emotional Regulation Protocol: A Portable Tool for Grief Bursts
Grief bursts don't wait for a convenient time. They show up in the grocery store, at your desk, in the middle of a family dinner. What you need in those moments isn't a lecture on the stages of grief — you need a tool you can actually use.
The 3-3-3 Emotional Regulation Protocol is that tool. Three phases. Three techniques in each phase. Roughly three to five minutes when you use the full version, or as little as thirty seconds when you don't have that luxury.
How Do I Stop Crying at Work?
If you've ever white-knuckled your way through a work meeting only to fall apart in the car afterward, you've met the difference between containment and suppression firsthand. It's one of the most important distinctions I teach as a grief coach — and once you understand it, everything about "managing" your emotions starts to feel less like a battle.
Two very different strategies
Containment is the healthy ability to temporarily modulate how much of an emotion you express — while still honoring that the emotion is real, valid, and important. Think of it as choosing when and where to feel something, not whether.
Suppression is the attempt to eliminate, deny, or invalidate the emotion entirely. It treats grief as something threatening or shameful — a problem to be gotten rid of.
Something to hold onto tonight.
The 2 A.M. Ritual is a free, seven-step guide for the nights you wake up missing someone. Quiet music, a breathing guide, and no sign-up required.
If you’d rather talk than read:
I offer a free 20-minute conversation. No pitch, no pressure. You tell me what happened, I listen, and we figure out together whether working with me makes sense.