THE HEALING PATH
Writing for the parts of grief nobody warns you about.
Most of what I write here started as something a client said to me, or something I lay awake with myself. Why do I wake up at 2 a.m.? Why did my friends stop calling? Is it normal to feel relief? Why does it hurt in my chest?
These posts aren't advice from a distance. They're the things I'd say if you were sitting across from me with a cup of tea. Read whatever is closest to what you're carrying tonight. You don't have to read them in order, and you don't have to read
New posts most weeks. No paywall, no sign-up needed to read.
If you can’t sleep * Why grief wakes you at 2 or 3 in the morning, and what helps.
If it hurts in your body * Grief lives in the chest, the shoulders, the stomach. How to let it move.
If you feel something you “shouldn’t”. * Relief, anger, numbness. All of it belongs.
If your friends have gone quiet * Why people disappear after a loss, what it isn’t, and what to do.
If they’re still here and you’re already grieving * Anticipatory grief, and why it’s real.
How long will my grief last? Does this feeling ever get better?
The Four Faces of Complicated Grief: Which One Sounds Like You?
One of the loneliest parts of complicated grief is feeling like no one else grieves the way you do. You go to a support group, and everyone else seems to be crying — but you feel nothing. Or everyone else seems to be functioning — and you can barely get out of bed. Or you can't stop thinking about your person, and you're not sure that's okay.
Here's something I want you to know: complicated grief tends to show up in a few recognizable patterns. Not everyone fits neatly into one — most people notice pieces of themselves in a few. But naming them can be a small relief. You are not the only one.
Coach or Therapist? Knowing When You Need More Support
One of the questions I get most often is some version of this: "Do I need coaching, or do I need therapy, or both?"
I want to answer it plainly, because grief is confusing enough without the support landscape being confusing too.
A Gentle Path Forward: What Specialized Grief Support Actually Looks Like
If your grief has gotten complicated, healing is still possible. Here’s what a specialized, trauma-informed path can look like - one gentle step at a time.
The 3-3-3 Emotional Regulation Protocol: A Portable Tool for Grief Bursts
Grief bursts don't wait for a convenient time. They show up in the grocery store, at your desk, in the middle of a family dinner. What you need in those moments isn't a lecture on the stages of grief — you need a tool you can actually use.
The 3-3-3 Emotional Regulation Protocol is that tool. Three phases. Three techniques in each phase. Roughly three to five minutes when you use the full version, or as little as thirty seconds when you don't have that luxury.
Personal Rituals and Storytelling When You’re Grieving
When life has been shattered by loss, it’s common to feel unmoored, like the story of your life no longer makes sense. Personal rituals and storytelling can offer gentle structure in the middle of that disorientation, giving you ways to honor your person, your pain, and your ongoing relationship with them.
Something to hold onto tonight.
The 2 A.M. Ritual is a free, seven-step guide for the nights you wake up missing someone. Quiet music, a breathing guide, and no sign-up required.
If you’d rather talk than read:
I offer a free 20-minute conversation. No pitch, no pressure. You tell me what happened, I listen, and we figure out together whether working with me makes sense.
