Signature workshop

Grief at Work and in Daily Life

Most of us learned to "perform okayness" the moment we walked back into work after a loss — showing up composed, answering emails, nodding through meetings, while carrying something heavy underneath. This workshop is about what that performance costs us, and how to give ourselves (and each other) more room in the places grief doesn't usually get invited: the office, the group chat, the Tuesday afternoon meeting.

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Who this is for

Built for the teams already doing this work.

  • Workplaces, HR teams, and EAP audiences
  • Professional associations and manager-training programs
  • Senior-living and hospice organizations training non-clinical office and administrative staff
  • Any team wanting a plain-language, non-clinical way to talk about grief and work

Learning objectives

What your team will walk away able to do.

  • Describe what "performing okayness" costs employees who are grieving, and why it's so common
  • Identify how workplace culture and policy shape whether grief feels welcome or hidden
  • Recognize signs that a coworker (or they themselves) may be grieving, even without a recent, obvious loss
  • Practice at least one low-pressure way to acknowledge a grieving coworker without overstepping
  • Distinguish disenfranchised grief (losses that don't get social permission to be mourned) from more visible losses, and understand why both deserve acknowledgment
  • Identify one small, realistic change their team or organization could make to support grieving employees

Evidence base

Grounded in current grief research.

Grief and work have historically been an under-studied area in organizational research, but that's changing quickly. A 2025 study of 388 bereaved employees found that bereavement grief was significantly linked to lower job engagement and lower perceived organizational support, while bereavement leave itself was linked to higher perceived organizational support — meaning what organizations offer really does register with grieving employees (Bergeron, "The Working Wounded," Group & Organization Management, 2025). A 2025 qualitative evaluation of workplace bereavement training found it helps close what researchers call the "grief support gap" between what employers intend to offer and what grieving employees actually experience (Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 2025). A 2024 relational-lens study captured, in employees' own words, what it feels like to be "just left to get on with the job" while grieving — a phrase that names exactly the performance this workshop addresses (Reed, 2024).

This workshop draws on disenfranchised grief theory, which names losses that don't receive full social recognition or permission to be mourned — including job loss, miscarriage, estrangement, a pet's death, or a loss that happened "too long ago" by others' standards. Research shows this framework has been extended in recent years to a wide range of pandemic-era and modern losses that don't fit society's narrow definition of "grief-worthy" (Frontiers in Psychiatry, 2021). Bereaved parents specifically face distinct and often unaddressed workplace accommodation gaps, which this workshop uses as one clear example of disenfranchised grief in a professional setting (PMC, 2022). Throughout, this workshop draws on Continuing Bonds and Dual Process Model language to help attendees understand why a coworker might seem "fine" one day and distracted or tearful the next — that oscillation is normal, not a performance failure on anyone's part (Dual Process Model bereavement research).

Session outline

What a 60-minute session looks like.

Every talk is tailored to the room, but here's the shape I'd usually propose. The half-day version below expands each block with worksheets and role-play.

  1. 0:00–0:08

    Welcome and framing

    Molly opens with the idea of "performing okayness" — the unspoken expectation that grief should be invisible at work. Names the session's core idea: grief doesn't clock out when the workday starts, and pretending it does costs people more than we realize.

  2. 0:08–0:20

    What performing okayness costs

    Teaching segment on the research showing grief's real impact on engagement, focus, and connection at work, alongside the human cost of hiding it. Introduces disenfranchised grief — losses that don't get full social permission to be mourned.

  3. 0:20–0:30

    Grief doesn't always look like grief

    Presents a wider view of workplace grief: not just a recent death, but ongoing anticipatory grief, an estrangement, a miscarriage, a pet's death, a career loss, or an anniversary reaction — many of which never get named as grief at all.

  4. 0:30–0:42

    Small group discussion

    Small groups discuss: what does their workplace culture currently communicate about grief — spoken or unspoken? What would feel different if grief were more welcome?

  5. 0:42–0:52

    Small, real ways to acknowledge a grieving coworker

    Teaches simple, low-pressure practices: acknowledging a loss briefly and sincerely, asking "how are you doing with everything" instead of avoiding the subject, and not requiring someone to "seem fine" to be treated normally.

  6. 0:52–0:58

    What organizations and teams can realistically offer

    Brief discussion of low-cost, high-impact organizational practices: flexible bereavement leave use, manager check-ins, and simply not penalizing someone for a bad day.

  7. 0:58–1:00

    Close

    Invite a few volunteers to share one small change they'll try. Hand out the take-home resource. Thank the room.

Half-day training

The 3-hour expanded version.

  1. Hour 1 — Understanding grief at work

    • 0:00–0:15 Extended welcome and framing with a longer illustrative story
    • 0:15–0:40 Deep dive into research on bereavement, engagement, and organizational support, alongside disenfranchised grief theory and its modern applications
    • 0:40–0:55 Worksheet: attendees map the losses (visible and less visible) they or people they know have carried into work
    • 0:55–1:00 Optional voluntary share-out

  2. Hour 2 — Skills and culture

    • 1:00–1:20 Teaching on manager-specific skills: how to check in with a grieving employee, what to say, what not to say, and how to avoid both over-involvement and avoidance
    • 1:20–1:45 Role-play rotation: a manager checking in with a grieving employee, a coworker responding to someone's return from bereavement leave, and a team navigating a coworker's less-visible loss (miscarriage, estrangement, pet loss)
    • 1:45–2:00 Group debrief on what felt natural and what felt hard

  3. Hour 3 — Building a supportive team culture

    • 2:00–2:20 Discussion of current workplace bereavement policies and where the gaps are, using Bergeron's 2025 findings on leave and organizational support as a discussion anchor
    • 2:20–2:45 Small-group worksheet: each team or department identifies one realistic change to policy, culture, or practice they could advocate for
    • 2:45–2:55 Manager-specific guidance on when to suggest EAP or professional support resources
    • 2:55–3:00 Closing circle and take-home resource distribution

Signature phrases

Language your team can borrow directly.

  • "Grief doesn't clock out when the workday starts."
  • "Performing okayness has a cost, even when no one can see it."
  • "Not every loss gets permission to be called grief. That doesn't make it smaller."
  • "Bereavement leave isn't the whole answer, but it says something real."
  • "'How are you doing with everything?' is a small sentence that does a lot."
  • "You don't have to seem fine to be treated with basic kindness."

On the handout

What your team takes home.

  • Plain-language explanation of disenfranchised grief, with common examples relevant to the workplace
  • "What to say / what to avoid" quick-reference for coworkers and managers
  • A short manager's guide: checking in without overstepping
  • A short list of low-cost organizational practices that support grieving employees
  • Space to write down one small change to advocate for

Follow-up resources

To go deeper.

Optional pre-work: Ask attendees to think of a time they carried a loss into work — big or small, recent or long past — and to jot down what, if anything, would have made that easier.

FAQ

A few things owners and administrators usually ask.

"Isn't grief a personal matter that shouldn't come into the workplace?"

Grief comes to work whether we invite it or not — the question is just whether it's acknowledged or hidden. Acknowledging it, briefly and sincerely, tends to help people function better, not worse.

"What if I say the wrong thing to a grieving coworker?"

A short, sincere acknowledgment almost always lands better than silence, even if it's imperfect. This workshop gives a few simple, low-risk phrases to lean on.

"What about losses that aren't a death — do those really count?"

Yes. Disenfranchised grief theory specifically names losses like estrangement, miscarriage, pet loss, and career loss as real grief that often doesn't get social permission to be mourned. Naming that in a workplace can make a real difference.

"Isn't this HR's job, not mine?"

HR policy matters, but day-to-day acknowledgment — a manager's check-in, a coworker's kind word — happens person to person, and this workshop is about equipping everyone, not just HR, to do that well.

BRING THIS TO YOUR TEAM

Let's find a time to talk.

Every session is tailored to your audience, timeframe, and setting. If you're thinking about a keynote, a workshop, or a half-day training for your team — let's talk. Fees vary by format and audience; I'll follow up within a business day.

Request this talk